What the?... hang on

Izaak here. (吮吸它)

    It's been quite some time since my last post and my beautiful calligraphy will do the talking on how I feel about that. Now I know that I promised something along the lines of a review on music at the end of my last blog, since I haven't really reviewed anything but life and we all know that sucks. Well I'm going to take it down a notch and say that my promise was looser than my gay uncle Oprah. It holds no bearing, seeing as it was made by some overly-opinionated and not-so-well-worded loser typing a blog. In lieu of posting about some band that I listen to (which probably sucks), I'm going to be a bit festive and let errrybody know how I feel about Halloween.

     All-Hallows Eve became famous for being the evening before All-Hallows Day, which is like being given a participation medal in a breathing contest. It was traditionally a time for people to run around raping, pillaging, murdering, cannibalizing, having blood-orgies with Satan, giving candy to children, or committing any other conceivable horror or atrocity possible. All this, of course, is to give you-know-who the middle finger for having contacted a select few humans, while leaving the majority to ponder their pitiful existence. You-know-who then allows respite for some of these cretins in exchange for another year of ignorant silence from the rest.

     People became tired of the traditions. "What? Just another virgin sacrifice followed by the gang-rape of anything we consider to be demonic? But that's what we've done since I was eleven". Nonetheless, people trudged along through time, obediently imitating the actions of their ancestors without cause... That is until MURRIKAH came along and invented candy! (along all the drugs that one could ever possibly want to inconspicuously inject into the candy they oh-so-charitably give away, filling children with obedience, oober far out trippy hallucinations, obesity, and reason to begin mugging early)

     It's now a vicious cycle, fed by sugar-crazed children and equally sex-crazed adults who want nothing more than for Def Leppard to chop down their door with an ax and fulfill their sick and twisted desires. Alright, girl who managed to make Sandy Squirrel seem like a cheap whore, I'll poor some sugar on you, but first allow me to say that:

this person was the best at ruining my childhood of all time. OF ALL TIME.

     Needless to say, I'm going to go out on Halloween; drink a little, dress like a slut, maybe have a blood orgy with Satan. But who's to judge if it's been deemed acceptable by Raezak? Raezak am wanting the followers of We to be fat, drunk, and scantily-clad when they enter the great vat of marination that is the afterlife. Now what I need everybody to take away from this is that, even though modern Halloween may just be a corporate scheme fed by the substance abuse and sin of the masses, it doesn't mean we can't have a good time.

     I understand that I'm posting this well after the festivities of Halloween have taken place, but I'll refer you, once again, to the calligraphy at the top of the page in case you've forgotten how I treat my fan base/cultists. I'll legitimately post again within the week, reviewing: The Worst Songs EVAAAAARRR.

"Raezak wraps fear in innocence,

As though it were a slightly sour sweet.

Let terror, then, be turned into a treat..."

Nicholas Gordon

Raezak Am.

P.S. I hope my roommates encountered somebody dressed as Hey Dude's Danny Lightfoot so that all of their wet dreams would come true. I also hope that this individual was able to effectively convey to them that shows from the early nineties are no longer cool and that Danny Lighfoot is an abhorrent douchebag.