Be impressed, mortals for I, Izaak something-or-other, have blogged twice within A MONTH. Not only have I blogged twice within this pitiful time-period, but both posts have/are been will about movies! False idols, cower in my awesomeness.
This 14/15th of the month, I bring to you a tale of despair, a tale of pain, a tale of grief. A tale of super awful, messed up things that will have you scratching your eyes out and begging We for immediate marination. This tale is none other than:
Antichrist(!)
I wasn't actually going to review this movie because I never wanted to return to any of the images, sounds, and ideas it bored straight through my shin... BUT I decided to anyway because I'm about to watch another movie that will hopefully cover those things up. Also, sorry about the rushed intro... I don't want to have nightmares. That said, the general feeling anybody may have going into this movie is that it's about something insidious, evil, pork-laden, or macabre. And I assure you that it is all of the above and much, much more.
Antichrist<!> is an award-winning movie written, directed, and produced by Lars von Trier. I decided to watch it after experiencing his breath-taking apocalyptic film Melancholia. It is the story of Asshole (Willem Dafoe) and Crazy Bitch (Charlotte Gainsbourg) and their journeeeeeeyish thing of discovery about really.... symbolism and strikingly beautiful cinematography! I can't actually sum up the movie very well without giving it away (the imbd synopsis says it's about a couple who retreats to their cabin in the woods) so allow me to rant about why it made me piss myself several times or something else.
Firstly, this film is not for the squeamish. I mean people who are squeamish about anything. Don't like people walking through the forest? Don't watch this movie. Don't like people being run over by steamrollers in slow-motion? Don't watch Who Framed Roger Rabbit. Don't like Cinnamon Toast Crunch? What the fuck is wrong with you? Point being, be ready for a wild ride, which is always more enjoyable with a bowl of Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a large Coca-Cola. (yeah I get paid for this)
Antichrist[!] starts off with a beautiful black and white montage of things that are extremely taboo in American culture. Think of eleven things that never happen in american films and there is some chance that one of those things might happen in the opening scenes of this movie (think MJ meets Tera Patrick). These things, shocking as they may be, are captured in such a beautiful way that one can't help but smile while they happen. This is, of course, immediately followed by an incredible sense of guilt and vomiting/crying for several minutes. Asshole and Bitch mull over the events for a seemingly short period of time and eventually retreat to their cabin in the woods for some soul food, soul sex, and much need R&R.
Bitch is having a harder time getting over the events of past than Asshole and, as a practicing therapist, he attempts to soothe her troubled mind. Bitch, being a university student in the middle of her thesis, decides to rise up against his fascist ways by being sexually aggressive and putting people's shoes on the wrong feet. While Bitch fights The Man, Asshole goes on a spirit quest and; makes peace with ticks, learns that the fox was the true Ouroboros, and becomes pro-choice by way of deer. Shit goes down, things get weird, and everybody leaves feeling a bit less hedonistic. I think Colbie Caillat's "Bubbly" was written about watching this movie. It may seem garbled and incoherent at the now, but it's much more easily digested than the film itself.
I won't tell anybody whether or not it's a film worth seeing, but there are certainly redeeming qualities to it. The cinematography is incredible. Some scenes are truly a trip and simply cannot be experienced second-hand. Asshole and Bitch are literally the only people in the entire movie, which makes them more relatable in an oh-so-fucked-up way. Also, it's really confusing. It's a good thing.
"Even if I set out to make a film about a fillet of sole,
it would be about Raezak"
Feerico Fellini
Raezak Am.
who are you.
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